I know it's a risk.

I know the staff is taking a risk, I'm taking a risk.

We don't know how this is gonna turn out.

[upbeat music]

After the last Olympics,

I thought I was gonna be done

pretty much with the national team.

Life kind of threw a little bit of a curve ball for me.

My body and mind were still in a pretty good space.

I knew that if I was gonna be really good for the summer,

I needed time.

Mentally and emotionally

I was still going through

some challenging times off the court.

And really being surrounded by community

is where I thought I needed.

I chose not to play professional season and just stay home

and coach and train and be really good in the weight rooms.

Definitely not typical to be taking a break.

Most of our girls are playing overseas

six to eight months abroad,

and then coming back and joining the national team.

So I know it's a risk.

I know the staff is taking a risk, I'm taking a risk.

We don't know how this is gonna turn out,

determining if I wanted to play or not,

I swear it was like every day I'd wake up, I'm like,

how am I feeling today?

And it wasn't that I didn't have options.

I had many options.

I felt like the gains that I was making

in the weight room were so instrumental.

And so that's where I wanted to invest my time.

I have never taken a break like that before in my career.

I've been grinding for a long time, 15 years,

which goes to show like how hard this decision was.

But again, I knew

and felt something in my heart that I just wasn't ready.

And I'm also like,

it's not fair if I'm gonna sign a contract if I'm half in.

And I knew that my performance was probably gonna suffer

if I was gonna do that anyways.

So while the money would've been maybe nice

or even to justify a behavior

maybe for the external world, inside, internally,

it just would've been right for me.

And I'm grateful that I've been able to make that decision

and had the support around me to do that.

It was a hard decision to come to.

Obviously, I think of my teammates first and foremost.

I've put in the work to kind of earn that right

to take up a little bit of space for me in that sense.

But I think it's been really important

to communicate intention and know that teamwork

and being on a team is really important

and awareness around how my teammates feel with that.

Everybody's path doesn't look the same.

And I think even for me, it's taught me

to just kind of see things as they are,

and everybody's dealing with other things

that maybe you don't actually know.

For most of my career, like I planned a lot, right?

Like, I think as an Olympic athlete,

like you plan your life in four year cycles

and it's like, I'm gonna be here in four years

and this is what it's gonna look like

and I'm gonna do X, Y, and Z to get there.

And I think there can be a lot of change

and a lot of things that happen.

And adapting and adjusting as an athlete is huge.

But I think also in life,

you just really never know.

And to really take each day as it comes

and be as present as you can.

I know that therapy is maybe sometimes shunned upon,

or I don't even know.

Like I value it so much, it should be looked as a tool.

It's another way to better yourself.

It's like nutrition.

It's like in the weight room

like having a strength and condition coach

is just another tool

to allow you to, one, understand yourself better

and then understand how you can interact with others better.

It's okay to ask for help.

I think that even at the highest level,

like we're all broken in some capacity.

And it's how can you ask for help

that's truly an authentic to you?

And it's not a sign of weakness.

It's actually a sign of deep vulnerability and realness.

There's a lot of people that can help

facilitate those conversations.

And so I think it's just being honest

and real about where you are

and then acknowledging how you can move forward.